So this is real.... This is how I feel.... No trying to hide it and pretend that things are good. Today is hard for me!
The Dr. said that we could start trying for another baby after two cycles and we did and we failed! That's how I feel... It hurts. It feels like it happened all over again. No baby!
As you can tell I started the dreaded "P" word!
I made myself believe that we could get pregnant right away and I hurt myself by believing that. Like I could just plan EVERYthing!
I told myself that I wouldn't feel this way if it didn't happen but I just can't help it. It hurts! It HURTS!
I just want to scream! It's not fair! Like a kid kicking and screaming on my bed because I can't have what I want!
Please if you are reading this please pray for me. Pray for patience and my anxiety. Pray that I can wait for the Lord's timing and not mine.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity."
Jeremiah 29:11-14
When you want a baby, you want a baby. I know that. God will provide with you beautiful healthy baby in his timing. .....if only we were allowed to have a little peak into the future to know when that would be, it might make the waiting easier. But....then I guess we wouldn't have to trust him any more. God is good, he has a perfect plan for the Hale family!
ReplyDeleteHey Tish, I don't really know what to say...my heart aches for you as I know how bad you want a baby and how hard it is to lose one as well. Keep trying and enjoy the process of trying :o) Try not to stress yourself out as that is really hard on your body (I know that is way easier said then done) I know God will bless you will a beautiful baby someday and you know what you will be so much more grateful and in love with that baby then you could even imagine (I now know) Because of your previous experience it will make having a baby that much more sweeter and amazing! Praying for you! Love Amanda
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