Welcome

"but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
~Isaiah 40:31

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Crab Fish'n



Today we went crab fishing for the first time for both of us! I started out a bit crabby in the morning on the way there (no pun intended). First we went out to the Mukilteo Pier and there were too many people so we decided to go to the Edmonds Pier.
Right off the bat we caught one tiny crab. It was too small to keep so we had to throw that one back. We ended up catching a total of four and keeping only two. I even caught a star fish!
A guy that was at the pier gave us one of his crabs so that we could have more for dinner. The two that we caught would have been plenty but that was super nice of the guy to give us his only catch of the day!
It was the first time for me to even hold a crab!!
We went to H Mart (An Asian mall) in Lynnwood to get crab utensil's. We both had never been there before either. It was so awesome! We were both in awe of everything. We decided to get Sake' to go with dinner because of course we had never had that either. Today was a day of firsts for us.
It was a good day compared to yesterday's emotional roller coaster.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Not Yet!

So this is real.... This is how I feel.... No trying to hide it and pretend that things are good. Today is hard for me!
The Dr. said that we could start trying for another baby after two cycles and we did and we failed! That's how I feel... It hurts. It feels like it happened all over again. No baby!
As you can tell I started the dreaded "P" word!
I made myself believe that we could get pregnant right away and I hurt myself by believing that. Like I could just plan EVERYthing!
I told myself that I wouldn't feel this way if it didn't happen but I just can't help it. It hurts! It HURTS!
I just want to scream! It's not fair! Like a kid kicking and screaming on my bed because I can't have what I want!

Please if you are reading this please pray for me. Pray for patience and my anxiety. Pray that I can wait for the Lord's timing and not mine.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity."
Jeremiah 29:11-14

Saturday, July 18, 2009

July 4th






I know that this is late but better late than never posting it!
We went to Shaun and Courtney's place for a BBQ with Paul and Julie and their cute little baby girl Faith and Shaun's brother Brett. Then later on went to Lake Washington in Renton to watch the fireworks. We had such a fabulous time! The pictures should say it all....

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."
1 Chronicles 16:34

Sunday, July 12, 2009

This weekend....


It has been filled with a lot of Jesus, baseball, friends, and enlightenment!
Friday night we went to a Mariner's game with our friends Paul and Julie. The Mariners were playing against the Texas Rangers. The Mariner's started out awesome but sadly they ended up losing in the end. :(
In the mean time Mike and I enjoyed our time with one another and the company of Paul and Julie! We are so blessed to have amazing friends!

Saturday night we went out to Thai food (which Mike doesn't like, lol) with our Pastor Jeff and his wife Tawni. Mike and Jeff were texting back and forth and somehow Jeff miss read Mike's text about what he doesn't like and Jeff thought Mike said he loved Thai. Mike not having the heart to correct him just went with it. Oh Mike! But we ended up telling them about it and it made for a great joke. I don't think they will let us live that one down.
We followed dinner up by going to one of Mike's Seawolves baseball games, they actually ended up playing the Mariners... Go figure!
Jeff and Tawni came with their little girls Brooklyn and Rayden. They are very cute with their blonde and brunette hair and tiny little features and good kids to boot.
During the game we were very entertained not only by the players but, for some reason there were more kids than normal at the game. One little girl in particular was having so much fun that she didn't feel the need to tell her mommy that she had to go pee and proceeded to do it on the steps of the bleachers!! Oh the joys of parenting!
The Wolves won the game 34 to 9!! Go Wolves! Both teams only had about 9 players so it was a pretty high scoring game because everyone was so tired with no down time. But we all had a great time!

On our way into the Mariners game Friday night Mike and I walked by a couple sitting on their car enjoying the sun. The woman was a young, beautiful pregnant blonde and she had to be at least 6 months along. As we got closer I thought how beautiful she was and then she ruined it for me by taking a cigarrette up to her lips and lighting it!!!! I wanted to grab her by her shoulders and shout to her "I lost my baby and I did EVERYTHING right and here you are lighting up a cigarette!! Do you have any idea how precious that life is growing inside of you?!?!" Of course I didn't do that... All I could do was pray for her and her baby.

Today in church we started a study called "Jesus Loves U2". It spoke to me so much. In order to understand what I am about to write I thought I would put the lyrics to the song that we went over. Please know that the message that was given today and what I am about to write is how I took it.

"Windows in the Skies" - U2
The shackles are undone
The bullet's quit the gun
The heat that's in the sun
Will keep us when there's none
The rule has been disproved
The stone it has been moved
The grave is now a groove
All debts are removed

Oh can't you see what our love has done
Oh can't you see what our love has done
Oh can't you see what our love has done
What it's doing to me

Love makes strange enemies
Makes love where love may please
Soul in its striptease
Hate brought to its knees
The sky over our head
We can reach it from our bed
If you let me in your heart
And out of my head

Oh can't you see what our love has done
Oh can't you see what our love has done
Oh can't you see what our love has done
What it's doing to me

Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh

Please don't ever let me out of here

I've got no shame
Oh no, oh no

Oh can't you see what love has done
Oh can't you see
Oh can't you see what love has done
What it's doing to me

I know I hurt you and I made you cry
Did everything but murder you and I
But love left a window in the skies
And to love I rhapsodize

Oh can't you see what love has done
To every broken heart
Oh can't you see what love has done
For every heart that cries

Love left a window in the skies
And to love I rhapsodize

Oh can't you see


Being a Christian the one thing that sets me apart is my Love. The love that the Lord gives and shows me and the love I give in return to Him and to His people.

"Oh can't you see what our love has done?"

As a Christian I have been called to meet people where they are because that is what Jesus has done for me!
I forgive the woman from Friday night and I love her and that baby so much!

When I came to know Jesus I was a dark, heart broken, drug abused, poor, Stripper!!! He met me where I was at and showed me a love that I never knew existed. He gave me the support that I needed from others. I was never judged not once by my new church family. They brought me in with open arms and loved me just as Jesus does!
If it wasn't for Kelley Dillingham and the love (Jesus) that showed through her I wouldn't be the Christian that I am today. She planted the seed. Jesus' love made her stand out from the crowd "The Love of Jesus"! I wanted the same thing. I wanted out of the prison that I was in! I couldn't face the darkness and pain anymore!

I now know that Jesus was there every step of the way! And still is! He was working in me!

I pray that I stand out from the crowd and show that same love.

"that has come to you. All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth."
Colossians 1:6

Jesus has changed my life!!!

"What it's doing to me."

Jesus is not done with me He is still doing things in me!

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness."
Colossians 2:6-7

I know God is still here He hasn't forgotten me! He is building me because He is a doing God not a done God!

I am constantly challenged everyday and brought to my knees!
I am constantly brought back to Jesus and all the AMAZING things He has done and is doing in my life and all I want to do is shout it out and dance! I am so thankful!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

The Scrapbook


The day after we left the hospital I had Mike take me to Michael's Craft store so that I could get papers and embellishments to make a scrapbook of my pregnancy.
I was so good about taking pictures every couple of weeks of my growing belly and I never showed them to anyone! Can you believe that?!?
I wanted to put the scrapbook together to be able celebrate Baby Hale's short life and I wanted to finish the book before Mike and I started trying for another baby. I didn't want to forget the memories I had of our first.
I went to Michael's to pick up the stuff 9 weeks ago and didn't even touch it until this last Sunday while Mike went to his baseball game that evening.
I had waited so long because I wasn't ready to face it! It felt like I was letting go if I completed the book and I wasn't and still am not ready to let go. I know that I will never let it go and I will never forget...
I finished it and I love it!
I love it so much that the next night all I did was hold it near me on the couch like I used to hold my belly while watching TV at night when Mike was gone at work. I know that must sound crazy but it's all I have to hold!!
I am so glad that I did it and I am so proud of it and proud of our baby!
I am so thankful to be Baby Hale's MOMMY! Thank you Jesus for giving me the opportunity! What an amazing journey and struggling experience to go through! I feel so ready to take on parenthood more than ever now.

“Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.”