Two Months and Healing

Today I went to the Dr. for my 6 week postpartum check which is actually 8 weeks. It's so crazy to think that two months ago we lost our little one. I would be a few weeks away from being into the third trimester and probably really showing!
We received some great news...my uterus is back to its' normal size and that we can start trying for another baby in a month!
I am so excited to start trying again but feeling reservations about it. Feeling like I don't want to forget our first, what if the same thing happens again, what if we don't get pregnant right away, and the list goes on and on. I know that this is the devil trying to attack me and take me down and I just don't want to let him do it.
My Heart is telling me that in this next pregnancy I want to go all out!! I don't want to be scared to tell people for fear of anything happening until the "time is right"! I want to buy a onesie or look at baby furniture without feeling guilty. If I have morning sickness bring it ON!! If I can't sleep because I have to get up to go to the bathroom five times in a night so be it! I will post the prego pictures and the ultrasounds right away no waiting until the very end! I want to share it with everyone!
Having a baby is such a special miracle and it should be shared!
I pray that I can get through this grief that I am going thru so that I can fully be excited for the next pregnancy. I pray that I continue to be the wife that my husband needs. I pray that I focus on the present and not the past. Last but not least I pray that I don't worry about the future. I need to remember that God is in control and that I can't do this on my own and that I need to listen to Him because he knows what's right!

"God's glory is on tour in the skies, God-craft on exhibit across the horizon. Madame Day holds classes every morning, Professor Night lectures each evening. Their words aren't heard, their voices aren't recorded, But their silence fills the earth: unspoken truth is spoken everywhere. God makes a huge dome for the sun—a superdome! The morning sun's a new husband leaping from his honeymoon bed, the daybreaking sun an athlete racing to the tape. That's how God's Word vaults across the skies from sunrise to sunset, melting ice, scorching deserts, warming hearts to faith. The revelation of God is whole and pulls our lives together. The signposts of God are clear and point out the right road. The life-maps of God are right, showing the way to joy. The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes. God's reputation is twenty-four-carat gold, with a lifetime guarantee. The decisions of God are accurate down to the nth degree. God's Word is better than a diamond, better than a diamond set between emeralds. You'll like it better than strawberries in spring, better than red, ripe strawberries. There's more: God's Word warns us of danger and directs us to hidden treasure. Otherwise how will we find our way? Or know when we play the fool? Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh! Keep me from stupid sins, from thinking I can take over your work; then I can start this day sun-washed, scrubbed clean of the grime of sin. These are the words in my mouth; these are what I chew on and pray. Accept them when I place them on the morning altar, O God, my Altar-Rock, God, Priest-of-My-Altar." - Psalm 19: 1-14 " The Message"